A conversation about beauty expectations
During the first two weeks of August, we spoke with eight high school students — all of differing racial and ethnic backgrounds — to gain their perspectives on beauty expectations.
It was extremely eye-opening to listen to the thoughts of various teens. Their responses greatly depended on the environment they grew up in and the standards they were exposed to from a young age. Their vulnerability was inspiring.
We hope that this discussion highlights the importance of deconstructing beauty standards. By learning to love and respect ourselves regardless of differences, we create a subconscious attitude of acceptance towards others.
Identification: Rahi Patel is Indian, Ruby Cho is Korean, Sophia VanLowe is Black, Alexa Hernandez is Mexican, Natalie Krensky is white, Neala Ashaari is Iranian, and Abby Melaku is Ethiopian.
Do you believe that beauty expectations influence your thoughts and perception of yourself?
Rahi Patel: “I don’t believe that beauty expectations have influenced my thoughts and perception of myself. I believe that true beauty is the way that a person presents themselves, not from the outside, but from the inside. The beauty of any person is defined within themselves.”
Ruby Cho: “Yes. I realize that many times, I strive to meet beauty expectations instead of just being myself. I constantly compare myself to others that I think are ‘better’ or ‘prettier’ than me, and I often go out of my way to be like others. I have even considered double eyelid surgery.”
Sophia VanLowe: “Beauty expectations have definitely influenced my perception of myself. Seeing girls on social media who represent a Eurocentric standard of beauty impacts me negatively. As a Black girl, my features are really different from that standard. This makes me feel unattractive, which is a huge blow on my confidence.”
Alexa Hernandez: “I have been insecure about a lot of things about myself because of beauty expectations. Through social media, I have been brainwashed by what is viewed as the perfect body type, or the perfect face shape, or specific characteristics that make someone beautiful.”
Natalie Krensky: “Photoshop and plastic surgery has created this unrealistic beauty standard that I can’t live up to. After constantly seeing such skinny and beautiful people, I feel pressure to look like that.”
Neala Ashaari: “I tend to scroll through social media platforms and expose myself to women with European features that I do not have. This frequent comparison puts a heavy toll on my mental health, as I find myself wishing I had the same features as the current standard of beauty.”
Abby Melaku: “Beauty standards have definitely impacted my perception of myself. At a young age, it was brought to my attention that these standards — that I now see as toxic and unrealistic — did not reflect my appearance. It is almost inevitable to fall prey to these expectations.”
What are some struggles you have encountered because of societal beauty pressures?
RP: “According to my culture, if a girl puts on too much makeup, it is believed that she doesn’t have true beauty to show the world. Something that I have faced is having acne and my skin not being clear. Another would be having so much hair on my body. Peers used to refer to me as a Big Foot at times.”
SV: “During my freshman year homecoming season, I was really looking forward to having a date. All of my white friends were getting asked, but no one really showed any interest in asking me or any of my fellow Black friends. Honestly, it made me feel really sad.”
AH: “I was unconsciously influenced through movies, songs — even clothing stores — that I have to have little-to-no stomach fat to wear specific types of clothes. I felt, for that reason, that I always had to cover that part of my body.”
NK: “I’ve always thought that I don’t fit into the size standard. Because of models all over social media platforms, it’s easy for me to start believing that I’m too big.”
AM: “At times, I feel the need to meet all expectations in order to not reinforce stereotypes and biases people have against Black people. I feel like I have to act and look a certain way to cater to society around me.”
What has helped you realize your self-worth and gain self-confidence?
RC: “Instead of waking up and checking my phone the first thing in the morning, I now walk my dog and reflect on myself. This has helped me realize that no one is perfect and I don't have to try to be perfect. I’ve become more comfortable with my appearance as a result.”
SV: “My family and friends have really helped me throughout my self-confidence journey. Also, talking to friends that are also Black has helped me a lot. Over time, I have realized that I am not the only one dealing with this issue.”
AH: “I make self-appreciation a habit. I always wake up in the morning and tell myself that I am thankful for my body. I don't need society to insist that I need to do anything to my body in order for me to fit the standard that they want me to.”
NK: “Starting at a place from the inside and pointing out things I loved about myself really helped. I finally realized that I’m truly the only person who actually picks on myself, and that I have to stop hating and start loving who I am as a person.”
NA: “I realized that doing things to satisfy others’ expectations strains my mental health and self-esteem. Social media presents individuals as having the ‘ideal’ body and look, but none of it is real. I've discovered that if I am happy, that is all that matters.”
What do you think society as a whole can do to decrease stigmas surrounding diverse bodies and features?
Each teen interviewed possesses a different view and meaning of beauty. However, one thing remained consistent with each interviewee: they all refuse to let beauty expectations confine themselves or others.
RP: “Society needs to preach that beauty is not from the outside; it’s from the inside and size doesn’t matter, nor does race. Everyone of different sizes or races are humans — they are no different.”
RC: “Schools should teach students to be open-minded to people’s differences. Teaching students about representation and diversity at a young age can engrave a lasting, positive mentality.”
SV: “A lot of the time, kids holding prejudice towards others grow up in judgmental and hateful households. Teachers should do their part in teaching their students love and respect, or ‘loving thy neighbor,’ to ensure they have strong morals growing up, regardless of family and friends around them.”
AH: “I think that we should involve all types of body sizes in the media so diversity can be normalized. We should as a society help each other know that there isn't a ‘perfect’ body.”
AM: “Education and representation are both impactful ways to reshape our society and help future generations. Society needs to learn to embrace different features and bodies so that children can learn from a young age the importance of treating peers with kindness, respect, and acceptance.”