Familial fatphobia during the holiday season

Content warning: This blog contains language that pertains to eating disorders.

The holiday season — spanning from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day — is a period of time spent honoring traditions, getting together with loved ones, and reflecting on the events of the past year. Accompanying these celebrations are large meals, often consisting of calorically-dense foods. That said, negative body image can also accompany this time, largely due to the culturally-induced fear of weight gain. 

A survey conducted by Herbalife Nutrition discovered that the average American citizen expects to gain 7 to 10 pounds over the holidays. Generally, Americans believe that they will gain weight throughout the holiday season because of their increased food intake during various meals and celebrations. However, the ​​National Institutes of Health revealed that most people only gain approximately one pound during the holiday season, which debunks this expectation. 

Many Americans fear weight gain because of the judgement and prejudice toward fat folks present in the United States. Societal norms correlate high-productivity to thinness, whereas being fat is considered negligent.

It is evident that there is a national incentive to restrict one’s eating before, during, and after the holiday season to avoid weight gain. This behavioral expectation is not only unrealistic, but it also normalizes an unhealthy mindset toward food and exercise. It can even trigger disordered eating patterns, such as the binge-and-restrict cycle.

Like many Americans, I’ve fallen prey to diet culture during the holiday season. As a freshman in high school, I woke up early each morning of winter break and ate a calorically-restrictive breakfast before biking three miles to my local yoga studio. I took an hour-long class there, and biked home shortly after to compensate for the holiday treats I consumed later in the day.

The largest cause of poor body image for me during the holidays is familial fatphobia, a fear of fatness impressed upon an individual by a member of their family. Teasing, criticizing, and shaming of family members for the size of their body are forms of familial fatphobia.

In my experience, this manifests itself as comments from my extended family members. I often receive remarks about my body size, ranging from a judgmental “Are you sure you want to eat that?” to “You might have to exercise a little more to lose weight.” Comments like these triggered my past disordered eating behaviors, and caused me to feel self-conscious while eating at meals alongside my extended family members. 

I am not alone in this struggle. High school senior Ruth Mekonnen feels that insults from relatives are one of the most stressful aspects of the holiday season. 

“Over the holidays, my aunts and uncles always say ‘Look at your big face’ or ‘You have a double chin,’” Mekonnen said. “I thought it was a joke, but whenever I had the chance to be alone and think about it, it made me feel really sad.” 

Familial fatphobia is one of the largest perpetrators of fatphobia. Judgement from loved ones is easily internalized, and it can lead to a lasting negative body image, social anxiety, and even depression. Familial fatphobia can also influence a child or adolescent’s view of fatness by associating negative emotions with fatness instead of the mistreatment of fat folks itself. 

High school junior Danielle Turner explained that an individual’s internalized fatphobia can project onto other members of their family. This problem, in her experience, presents itself when Turner’s parents complain about their eating habits or criticize their physical appearance in front of her and her siblings.

“They’ll sit there during holiday dinners and say, ‘I didn’t eat for two weeks so I can eat this and avoid it affecting my weight,” Turner said. “They think it’s normal, but in reality it just ends up damaging you and the way you see yourself.” 

Familial fatphobia can introduce negative body image thoughts not only in children and adolescents, but also adults, causing them to feel shame when consuming foods they enjoy. 

Elisabeth Oplinger, a recovering exercise addict, feels that undergoing fat shaming as a child from her extended family members during the holiday season  forced her to equate her self-worth with her physical appearance.

“When I was 13 years old, my grandmother came to visit and brought a large basket filled with chocolates and sweet treats,” Oplinger said. “When I reached in to grab some chocolates, she snapped at me and said that the reason I was ‘chunky’ was because I had no self-control.”

Shaming individuals for their food choices creates negative body image and low self-esteem. This only serves to make the holidays a period of stress, rather than a time of love and celebration. 

When I realized how harmful other people’s comments were to my mental health, I spoke to my family about the impact of their words. While this strategy was not effective in stopping all fatphobic comments, it did help decrease their frequency. I learned through heightened self-confidence and time not to let cruel words affect the way I view my body.

The stigma around weight gain as a whole is problematic, especially during the holidays. Allowing oneself to indulge in holiday delicacies such as hot chocolate, pies, and stuffing, for example, is an enjoyable way to satisfy oneself while celebrating with family members. Bad body image during the holidays is the direct result of societal standards of health and physique. It is imperative to let go of the cultural expectation to regulate food intake during the holiday season.