Catherine’s story
Content warning: This blog contains language that pertains to eating disorders.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I felt isolated. I turned to social media to help cope with the uncertainty of our world's condition. I spent hours a day scrolling through Tik Tok and Instagram; quick workouts and “what I eat in a day” videos flooded my “For You” page.
That content is toxic. It’s poisoning the minds of impressionable children and young adults on the app and it influenced me greatly. I began to spend hours working out everyday and counting the calories in each food I consumed. I was overwhelmed by the societal pressure that to fit in, I needed to look a certain way.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I succumbed to a mental battle. No matter how much exercise or how little I ate, I never looked like the perfectly-posed women and girls I viewed on social media.
On another monotonous social media-filled day, I stumbled upon an influencer that promoted self-love and body positivity. I was immediately intrigued. I admired how confident the woman was; I wanted to be like her. At that moment I realized that a change had to occur. I deserved to be healthy and happy.
Self-love wasn’t granted by some magic spell, it was challenging. I’ll always be trying to figure out how to love my body and who I am, and that’s okay.
I stopped pressuring myself to eat and exercise in ways that didn’t serve me. I began to exercise when I felt like it and ate what I wanted to. It took some time for the guilt I felt with my new habits to subside, but I found healthy ways to deal with my emotions.
Instead of exercising excessively, I would take long walks on the beach, listen to my favorite songs, or curl up on the couch with my latest read to cope.
My self-love journey changed my whole life. Now I buy clothes that make me feel confident and I follow social media influencers who make me feel good. I learned that to love yourself you need to do what makes you happy.
If you are struggling, I want to tell you that it is possible to get through it. You are beautiful just the way you are, and you don’t need to change for anyone.
