Condemning Eastern beauty standards and their perpetrators
My Chinese culture shapes me in many ways, even though I’ve grown up in the U.S. Growing up in a Chinese family, many beauty standards are implicitly expected of me. My culture deems slender figures as worthy of praise, while larger bodies symbolize shame, laziness, and a lack of self-care. Thinness receives compliments and greater respect, and such beauty is portrayed as effortless and the norm.
Ever since I was a toddler, I was naturally thin and received bodily praise from parents of close friends that are also Asian. Their comments on how I was naturally born ingrained an expectation and pressure to maintain this slim figure as I grew into a teenager. In contrast with some Western beauty standards, paleness, purity, and feminine, dainty features are considered beautiful in Chinese and many Asian cultures. Such ideals are reflected in beauty pageants and via K-pop idols, namely.
During the pandemic, the comments that I received from my best friend about how thin I was or that she also desired my same body perpetuated my developing eating disorder. Trapped in the continuous thought of exercise and dieting that she talked about during our daily FaceTime calls, these conversations convinced me to do the same. The lowest points where I had the worst relationship with my body were also the times when I received the highest compliments from others with respect to my physical appearance.
Mental health problems and eating disorders are heavily influenced by family attitudes, especially the stigmatization of fatness. Because of my close relationship with my mom, her words make some of the greatest impacts on my own thoughts. As I slowly mended my relationship with myself, I received conflicting messages from mom and other family members regarding body image. She offered me support toward feeling good about myself and my body, yet she would loudly vocalize her own need to become slimmer or exercise more. She would also offer small pieces of advice about how to dress to look thinner or accentuate certain parts of my body.
The support my parents have shown did not overcome the fact that issues with body image and eating disorders are extremely stigmatized and frowned upon as illegitimate concerns. While my family cared for me, it wasn’t uncommon that they would scold me for not finishing my plate of food, but also reprimand me for not exercising enough. I have felt at my worst when my support system promoted the toxic voice and negative body image that once plagued me, even if done unpurposefully.
While my dad had immigrated to America as a young adult – later accompanied by my mom when they married – my family was still very traditional and connected to our Chinese and Hong Kong cultures. This also meant that Asian media played a big role in my life, especially during dinner time when we watched our daily Cantonese television and shows.
Not only were there always talk about the need to lose weight with this quick and miraculous ointment, I grew up watching what was my favorite program: the yearly Miss Hong Kong Pageant. I enjoyed the show because of all the famous celebrities that I recognized from shows congregating at this one event, but I despised the idea of pageants because without fail, there was always talk about dieting and losing great amounts of weight before the pageant, as well as evaluations by judges who determined the beauty of a woman through events like the bikini competition.
The media surrounding me growing up implanted a thought in my mind that I should aim to look like a beauty pageant contestant. Even though this program could not have been more scripted and edited to perfection, I believed that this was naturally expected of me to look perfect. Today, I find myself annoyed and angry during a car ride with the Cantonese radio because it is constantly overloaded with weight loss advertisements and miraculous weight loss treatments.
However, these incidents are not isolated to my family. Body shaming and beautification is ingrained in my culture. Many Asian people freely comment on the bodies of their family and friends, social media users post extremely beautified pictures that emphasized features like enlarged eyes and lightened skin-tones, and dinner table conversation sometimes revolves around the appearance of notable public figures. The message is clear: there is a desired body and beauty standard within my culture, and I must verbalize its existence as well as strive to emulate it.
Rejecting the cultural stereotypes and unattainable expectations that have been long upheld is important to deem them unfounded and harmful. It is crucial to be mindful of words and actions, especially because of social media’s growing presence and effect in our daily lives. Loved ones, parents, families, and close friends all play critical roles in acting as encouraging and considerate supporters while also denouncing harmful messages of negative body image in the media and personally as well. Affirming the importance of body positivity and rejecting toxic diet cultures can have the most profound impacts, including building greater self-confidence, normalizing different bodies, creating positive attitudes that embrace the excitement towards enjoying food, and also reinforcing strong relationships.
